True Love

On Thursday, March 16th, Lawrence and I celebrated four years of marriage. To my shame, I usually put a lot of expectations, some spoken, some unspoken, upon my husband to romance me. And, I usually end up frustrated and in a conflict with him over how he didn't measure up. Mercifully, God has given me a husband who overlooks offense after offense, and who draws near to me even when I'm being near hateful toward him.

Over the course of our marriage, I've turned to a few, close confidants who God has used powerfully in my life, to help bring baby steps of change in my ungodly responses to my husband, among other areas in my life. Upon one of those friend's more recent rebukes, I saw that the ideas I had about love and how it should be demonstrated in a marriage are not really biblical and that my lustful cravings for more romance, and the more "Hollywood-like" displays of affection and love were never going to be satisfied and moreso, keep me from experiencing and appreciating true love as the bible defines.

From that realization and inspired by my husband's countless displays of true biblical love to me comes this poem that I wrote for him this year.

I asked God for someone to love me,
But I didn't know what love really is.
Until my notions of love were shattered,
And I could see a love like His.

A love that's patient, a love that's kind
A love that draws near, and of God's grace, reminds.

A love that does not envy, and neither does boast
A love that to all my successes does toast.

A love that is not proud, a love that is not rude
A love that humbly responds to my bad attitudes.

A love that's not self-seeking no matter the sacrifice
That's more concerned with what I'd prefer than for you what would be nice.

A love not easily angered and keeps no record of wrongs
A love that assures me no matter what, it's in your arms I belong.

A love that does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth
A love that points me to the gospel, and from that my heart is soothed.

A love that always protects my honor and my name.
A love that always trust that when I fall, I will rise again.

A love that always hopes I'll choose the best.
A love that perseveres when I've failed every test.

A love that never fails; this is your love for me.
A love as the Bible defines and brings God much glory.

Lawrence, thank you for four faithful years of God glorifying love!

Anniversary...Help!

When my husband proposed more than four years ago, our engagement fell over Valentine's Day. Oddly enough, our wedding day falls 30 days after Valentine's Day. So, among the few, very few, creative and romantic things I have come up with in my life, I made a little flip, countdown calendar for Lawrence to use until we were married. Each year since we were married, I have put it up and used it to countdown to our wedding anniversary.

It sits above my kitchen sink, and I am the one who flips it and reads the day's quote a million times throughout the day. I am the one who's been reminded at least 6 times today already that there are only 13 days left until our anniversary.

13 days left, and I have no idea how to bless my husband this year in remembering our anniversary. You see, Lawrence is in the midst of I would say the busiest season of work he's had since we've been married. He's out of the house an average of 12 hours a day and is working Saturdays. I am tired to say the least. Even with the daily reminder that our anniversary is right around the corner, I have not taken the mental and emotional energy to come up with any ideas on how to celebrate our anniversary.

And, there's an additional snag. March 16th is our anniversary and also the first day of the men's retreat for the men of Chesapeake. We are both excited that Lawrence is going to be able to go as his boss was rather hesitant to give him the time off. I've thought about arranging for someone to babysit the boys so that I could pick Lawrence up from the retreat and take him overnight somewhere, but he has indirectly communicated that we don't have the means for that right now. Plus, I think there's probably more of my own desire to do something like that which prompted that plan.

So, why am I telling you all of this? Because I need ideas. I know there are some really creative (don't get too creative; I'm highly limited skill/talent wise) women out there who might have some great ideas that I can steal. :)
I really don't think Lawrence has time to read this blog, but by chance that you're reading the blog, honey, please don't check the comments!

So, comment away...