God's Grace at Work

The boys have officially hit toddlerhood, and the discipline has indeed increased. But, so has their learning. It seems everyday, there is something new coming out of their mouths or some new physical accomplishment to show Papi (Lawrence) at the end of our day. Sometimes, like this week, there are bumps and scrapes, too.

Judah had such a week. He fell off our front stoop onto the cement sidewalk below. Blood spewed from several spots on his face. This was my first real trauma with the boys involving blood. Judah's mouth has bled many times already, but nothing like what happened on this occasion. My neighbor was outside with us and kindly picked up Tucker to put him inside so that I could take care of Judah.

Amazingly, I didn't freak out. I wanted to. In fact, I can distinctly remember thinking thoughts like, "ok, now I'm going to start to cry." But, the tears never came. I never panicked. I was panicking inside, but it did not show outwardly. So much was my calm response that Tucker never cried, even while Judah was screaming his little head off.

I quickly but calmly strapped both boys into their feeding chairs, picked up the phone while trying to blot the blood rolling down Judah's face and called my friend, Heather, who is a God send to the Almengor's, a friend who sticks closer than a brother, even literally as she lives in our court. I think she was at my front door before I hung up the phone. :)

All this to say that daily I am amazed by this truth I see at work in my mothering: God's grace is sufficient for me in my weakness. Not only in this instance, but others like when the boys disobey me simultaneously for the 4th time in a row and I would rather sit and cry, throw my hands up in the air and quit, but I discipline them instead. Or when I apply Judah's numbing cream and hold him down for his laser treatments while singing a song in his ear. Or when I don't loose my temper or become faithless when Tucker screams at me and turns his back to me because I don't give him his milk that is still heating up in the microwave.

These are moments that I am so aware I am not operating in the flesh, that there is a power at work in me that is outside myself, beyond my abilities for certain. How do I know this? Because I am not given to a calm disposition. I am not naturally mild mannered. I am not prone to have great faith in the midst of great odds. And, there are other moments in my life and even my mothering when that is strikingly obvious.

But, I thank God that He gives me these glimpses of His power that IS at work in me, about the process of finishing that good work He's begun in me. It's too often, most of my day in fact, that I mull over and become weighed down by the guilt of my own sin and by how many ways I am not measuring up to God's standard. But, for this moment and I pray this will become increasingly so of my meditations and the words of my mouth, I am giving glory to God and praising Him for truly making ALL things possible...even in me.

What are ways that God's grace has been at work in your life lately?