My Shoplifting Son

Clothing shopping w/ twin 13 month old boys is really not a good idea ever, but it is made a little easier if one is equipped with a large container of goldfish, teddy grahams or some other snack and a friend! My wonderful friend, Kate, met me at Old Navy yesterday and graciously strolled my boys around the store, entertaining them with songs and funny faces. The time came, however, when every song she could think of was sung, every funny face made twice and the snacks had to come out.

Here's the thing with snacks and shopping with twins. The snacks serve as a countdown to the time you have left to shop. When the snacks are all gone, you are all done shopping. That's really all there is to it! So, we were nearing the end of the snacks, but I wanted to try on just two more pair of jeans.

After finishing the snacks, Kate gave the boys their sippies. Tucker's little stopper (the thing that keeps the water from gushing out when tipped over) had come out because he had thrown it so many times onto the concrete floor. But, he was screaming, so Kate gave it to him and just watched as he learned the hard way that the water was going to come streaming out. He grabbed the sippy from Kate and proceeded to dump water all over himself. He looked up at Kate with a stunned face as if to say, "Am I wet? Did I just get myself wet? Did you let me get myself wet?" And then he belted out a very loud cry. With tears streaming down his face and him pulling at his wet shirt, I picked him up and consoled him.

There are several points of no return when shopping with twins. One is the snacks. Once the boys see them, your countdown has begun. The other point of no return is taking them out of the stroller. Once you cave and take them out of the stroller, you're not going to be able to put them back into the stroller without some serious screaming as a result. So, we had passed all points of no return. I knew it was time to check out!

With items in hand, I made my way to the cash register. Kate was holding Tucker, and Judah was sitting contentedly in the stroller. He's got his thumb, his best bud, to console him when the world is just not right! :) So, I begin to check out and Judah notices wrapped, fleece blankets within reach. As anyone who has kids knows, if something is within a child's reach, it must mean that it needs to be touched and played with. So, Judah began to pull at the blankets, and they started to hit the floor. I picked them up, but didn't bother moving him away from the blankets because this entertaining little game was keeping him amused while I checked out.

*Note to anyone not yet a mom: All ideas about how your kids will or will not act in public or how you will or will not cater to their temper tantrums in public is out the window once you actually have children in public.

Amazingly, I walked out with a bag full of clothing and was on my way! I thanked Kate profusly and began to part ways with her. I made one last check in the bottom of the stroller to make sure I had everything I came with and what I bought and discovered a little extra goody: a wrapped, fleece blanket! :) My son had managed to knock one right into the bottom of the stroller, and I would have brought it home had I not checked. I laughed as I walked back into the store to return the merchandise my son had just lifted, and thanked the O.Navy staff who were more than gracious and obliging to me, the stupid mom trying to clothing shop with 13 month old twin boys!!!