my little men of God

Baked Oatmeal

2006-09-19T12:12:00.000-07:00

This recipe is just too good to keep to myself.
I tried a different variation of it this week and it turned out so yummy!

1/2 c. vegetable oil
1/2 c. sugar
1/4 c. molasses
2 small packets splenda
2 eggs
3 c. quick oats (uncooked)
2 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. salt
1 c. milk
1 tsp. cinnamon
1 apple (peeled and cubed)
1/4-1/3 c. chopped pecans

Mix oil, sugar, eggs in large mixing bowl and whisk.
Add oats, powder, salt and milk. Stir together well. Stir in fruit and nuts.
Pour into lightly greased 9" square baking pan.
Bake at 350 for 30 minutes (or until center is done).
Serve warm with milk.

**I have been trying to eliminate sugar from my diet for some health reasons. Plus, I was out of brown sugar this week. The recipe typically calls for 1 c. brown sugar in place of the molasses, sugar and splenda. I prefer to try a molasses substitute when possible b/c it's high in iron.
The apples and pecans can be substituted for other dried fruits (I've used craisins in the past), but that combination is just perfect for a fall dish!

Enjoy!

10 Aromatic Pleasures

2006-08-18T10:53:00.000-07:00

I don't normally bother with 'tags' from others (not that I get many, any really), but I thought this one was fun. Plus, I love Zoanna, the person who tagged me, and don't want to offend her. :) Just kidding, Zo!

Reading others' ideas of what smells good to them and why made me realize that our sense of smell is something for which to give thanks to God. I guess it's one of those things that we may take for granted, at least I do. Without it, though, think of all the simple pleasures, memories and nostalgic moments we'd miss out on. So, thanks God for my sense of smell.

Now, in no particular order, here are my top 10 aromatic pleasures:

1. My husband's deodorant. I know it might sound funny, but neither of us are really into colognes or perfumes. But, my husband's deodorant reminds me just of him, no other. When he's gone on business trips, sometimes I'll get out a t-shirt of his that hasn't yet been washed and smell the armpits just to feel closer to him. I know I totally grossed out a few of you with that bit of information, but my husband rarely gets BO. His deodorant really must work well because even a dirty shirt doesn't smell bad. For those of you who don't know, my husband is a CPA, crunching numbers all day, not anything that really makes him break out in a sweat (unless the bottom line doesn't add up, of course).

2. My boys' breaths. And, I'm NOT talking about when they're breast feeding babies. I think that breath reeks. Sorry, Bethany! I don't know why I love it, but I do. I love to get right up in their faces and just smell them. I'm sure it wouldn't be a smell that is distinguishable or enjoyable by anyone else than me. It's especially good (strong) when they first wake up from a nap.

Those two are probably the strangest; the rest will prove I'm not completely a weirdo.

3. Bonfires.

4. Coffee shops, particularly Dunkin Donuts, as they've got the best combination of coffee and donuts/pastries baking. I love walking into the shop and smelling, but I HATE the smell it leaves on you when you leave. Strange, huh?!

5. The morning smell on a crisp autumn day in the mountains, particularly if you're at camp or on a retreat.

6. Anything baking at my mom's house. My mom is an amazing cook and baker. She typically has something yummy in the oven or already baked when we go home to see her. Her bread and sticky buns in particular are super yummy!!

7. A summertime grill.

8. Anything having to do with Kate Britton. She's one of the biggest "smell snobs" I know, so everything about her always smells good. I can always tell when she's held one of my boys or we've been to her house. It has a 'Kate Britton' smell, and since she's one of my dearest friends, that's a good thing. :) I'll let her tell some of her 'secrets' to a good smelling house in my comment box.

9. A house freshly cleaned, especially on a cool, spring day when you can combine it with the fresh air smell coming from open windows. I don't come by that smell too often anymore, given I rarely get into deep cleaning with two toddler boys running around. But, recently a very sweet teen in our church came to clean out my refrigerator, and my house smelled like Pine Sol for days. It was wonderful!

10. My roses that used to grow on the side of our house. This summer has not been kind to them, so I haven't had any blooms. It's been so dry, and I don't have time to water them much less spray them for bugs and feed them. BUT, when I had the time, it was a simple pleasure I gave thanks to God for nearly every week when I'd go outside and cut some fresh roses to bring into the house. Their smell simply could not be compared to anything one could buy from the florist or Bath and Body Works.

Happy Birthday, Papi!!

2006-07-17T11:59:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday, Papi!!

We love you and are glad you love us, too.

A Grateful Heart

2006-07-12T10:25:00.000-07:00

Several times a day I can be heard repeating a little phrase to my boys that I believe the Holy Spirit gave to me unless I just can't remember where/whom I heard it from first. As toddlers are known to do, my boys whine about so many things throughout their day. Sometimes, I'm convinced they're whining just to whine. In those moments, I try to instruct them to be grateful and hold out the little proverb, "God makes a grateful heart a happy heart". I'm sure it'll be one of those phrases that they will come to associate with mom and not always respond to in a positive way. But, if not for my sons, it is a good reminder to me.

Lately, I have been grumbling about my circumstances and about the lot God has assigned to me, but convincing myself that I am instead "venting" or sharing my burdens. This morning I woke up with a very disquieted heart. I was wrestless and upset, but couldn't discern completely why. I prayed that the Lord would use His Word to comfort me, but I walked away from my quiet time actually saying to my husband, "nothing spoke to me".

Over the course of the day, however, the Holy Spirit convicted me, bringing to mind some conversations I've had with friends recently where all I've really done is complain. My own words came back to convict me further, "God makes a grateful heart a happy heart". I realized I simply needed to confess my sin of grumbling and then begin to express gratitude instead. Slowly, as I have obeyed the promptings of the Holy Spirit to use my mouth for praise rather than for complaint, my heart has begun to quiet down, to be still again and even, happy!

And, as for my quiet time not speaking to me this morning, I was simply not willing to listen. One of the passages I read was from Psalm 148 which offered me the same advice I offer my sons when they are miserable and disquieted,

Praise the Lord!

Praise the Lord from the heavens; praise him in the heights!

Praise him, all his angels; praise him, all his hosts!
Praise him, sun and moon, praise him, all you shining stars!

Praise him, you highest heavens, and you waters above the heavens!

Praise the Lord from the earth, you great sea creatures and all deeps,

fire and hail, snow and mist,stormy wind fulfilling his word!

Kings of the earth and all peoples, princes and all rulers of the earth!

Young men and maidens together, old men and children!
Let them praise the name of the Lord, for his name alone is exalted;

his majesty is above earth and heaven.

He has raised up a horn for his people, praise for all his saints,

for the people of Israel who are near to him.

Praise the Lord!

This is not the first time I have been convicted of grumbling, and knowing how deceitful our hearts are, I know it won't be the last I'm caught in this sin. But, I thank God that He graciously brought it to my attention and gave me grace to confess and receive His forgiveness. He truly does make a grateful heart a happy one.

Tribute to June Clemmer, my "Ma"

2006-05-11T10:54:00.000-07:00

There is only one difficult aspect in writing a tribute to my mother and that is to capture succinctly through words not only the strength of character my mom possesses but also all the ways I admire her and have benefited from being her daughter.

One characteristic that is strikingly obvious about my mom is her love for her home and her children. She has always used whatever resources were available to her (and at times, it was very tight financially) to make her home a place of comfort, productivity, beauty and refuge. She has never strived to find a place outside the home, but has gratefully and eagerly embraced her role as a home manager and has done so much to impart to me and all her children the skills necessary in keeping a home running smoothly.

I can imagine the temptation was great for my mom to do the necessary chores herself as she could do so more efficiently and to a higher standard than she could expect from her children. However, my mom chose what I believe is the harder path by diligently instructing us on home care and home management basics. She also faithfully oversaw or checked our work to ensure that we were really learning and excelling in the various tasks she had assigned to us. Though this was not enjoyable as a child, I am now reaping the benefits of her faithful training. While there is always room for improvement, home management and taking care of my home’s cleaning needs is an area that seems to come naturally to me. There has been very little learning curve for me in these areas as my mother excelled in preparing her daughters in particular for this unique role in the home.

My mom also excels in opening not only her home but her heart to all who are graced to know her. This is the epitome of hospitality, I believe, and my mom excels in extending this gift to others. She gives much thought to the details of what might bless her guests and has done so especially for her own children now that most of us are grown up and moved out of her home. She plans ahead to ensure bed sheets are cleaned, towels are ready and a place is created especially for her guest. She thinks through her meals, keeping in mind the particular food preferences of all her children to accommodate us as best she can.
Not only for the planned guest, but for the many who simply drop in on occasion (which in my mom’s house is really a daily occurrence), she has her home and her heart ready to receive anyone who might knock on her door. She does this by having meals, snacks and/or drinks at the ready, by keeping her home tidy and well organized and by posturing herself to entertain oft times uninvited “angels”. So much does my mom excel in hospitality that there have been numerous holidays, intended to be “family only” occasions, where a friend or neighbor has felt the freedom to drop in and make himself at home with us. To experience my mom’s hospitality is to be loved and cared for in a way that leaves one feeling less like royalty and more like family. And, I believe that’s why her home is always full of people!

Though my mom works hard giving of herself to others, she spends most of her energy pouring out her life first and foremost for her husband and her children. Among the many and various practical ways she serves her family, her encouragement to each of her children to walk with the Lord has been one that has brought significant blessing to my life. She has walked beside each of her children through some incredibly challenging circumstances, often causing her to be confronted with her inadequacies to direct our hearts into God’s love and Christ’s perseverance. In these times, she has thrown herself on the mercy and wisdom of God, appealing to us as necessary, reminding us of truth and ultimately entrusting us to the faithfulness of God. Due in large part to my mom’s faithful prayers, all of her children are believers in Christ and seeking to glorify God with our lives.

Of all the things that I cherish so much about my mom (and there are so many more qualities than I mentioned here), the quality I admire the most and am most humbled by is her perseverance to grow in godliness. There have been many hardships and trials in my mom’s life. Her parents were divorced while she was still young, and her mother died from breast cancer when she was only 8 years old. Along with her older sister, my mom was passed around to various family members to be cared for throughout portions of her childhood.

When she became an adult and married my father, she knew financial hardship most of their 18 years of marriage. A primary factor for the financial strain was the fact that she and my dad were committed to sending three of their four children to a Christian School. She cared for my father for two years while he battled brain cancer and eventually endured the loss of his life. She was thrust back into the work force after being home with children for 15 or more years in order to help provide for her four, and at that time, fatherless children.

She remarried within a year’s time of my father’s death to a man who had experienced the loss of his wife through a hit and run car accident. My stepdad’s wife was killed only months after my father passed away and by divine orchestration, my mom and stepdad were set up on a blind date, to be married only four months after they had first met. My mom chose to move her home, her family and her life to build a new one with her new husband. She faced the additional challenge of taking on the responsibility to love and care for my stepdad’s three children as well. So in total, she had a new husband and seven children, ranging in ages from 2 to 16, all responding in unique ways to the grief of losing a parent and the stress of adjusting to our new, blended family. She has also endured many years of chronic back, hip and leg pain among the more significant of bodily ailments she has suffered.

As they would for anyone, these circumstances have presented temptations to grow angry and bitter, to give into self-pity or to be anxious for the future, to mistrust God and chose to go one’s own way. But, by the grace of God, my mom has fought the good fight and continues to press into God to know experientially the freedom from these sins that Christ’s blood has bought for her. Has she done this perfectly? No. But, she has done this genuinely to be sure.

As I walk through my own hardships and trials that God has graciously brought into my life, I do not have to look far for an example of how to persevere and consider them pure joy. My mom is a living testimony of suffering producing perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.
If you met my mom, not having read this tribute, you would be struck by her joy. She would tell you what a blessed woman she is. She would tell you how rich and full her life has been and continues to be. She would tell you that she has the best life a person could have and that God has been so good to her. Above all my mom has exemplified for me, this quality of humility and how to fight for joy in God, recognizing that no matter what circumstance we find ourselves in, we have been treated better than we deserve, is by far the quality I most want to emulate.

She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. Ps. 31: 25

Mom, while my words are woefully inadequate, I pray the life that I live, patterned greatly after you, will do a better job of rising up and calling you blessed.

“To God be the glory
Great things He has done.”

True Love

2006-03-17T05:16:00.000-08:00

On Thursday, March 16th, Lawrence and I celebrated four years of marriage. To my shame, I usually put a lot of expectations, some spoken, some unspoken, upon my husband to romance me. And, I usually end up frustrated and in a conflict with him over how he didn't measure up. Mercifully, God has given me a husband who overlooks offense after offense, and who draws near to me even when I'm being near hateful toward him.

Over the course of our marriage, I've turned to a few, close confidants who God has used powerfully in my life, to help bring baby steps of change in my ungodly responses to my husband, among other areas in my life. Upon one of those friend's more recent rebukes, I saw that the ideas I had about love and how it should be demonstrated in a marriage are not really biblical and that my lustful cravings for more romance, and the more "Hollywood-like" displays of affection and love were never going to be satisfied and moreso, keep me from experiencing and appreciating true love as the bible defines.

From that realization and inspired by my husband's countless displays of true biblical love to me comes this poem that I wrote for him this year.

I asked God for someone to love me,
But I didn't know what love really is.
Until my notions of love were shattered,
And I could see a love like His.

A love that's patient, a love that's kind
A love that draws near, and of God's grace, reminds.

A love that does not envy, and neither does boast
A love that to all my successes does toast.

A love that is not proud, a love that is not rude
A love that humbly responds to my bad attitudes.

A love that's not self-seeking no matter the sacrifice
That's more concerned with what I'd prefer than for you what would be nice.

A love not easily angered and keeps no record of wrongs
A love that assures me no matter what, it's in your arms I belong.

A love that does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth
A love that points me to the gospel, and from that my heart is soothed.

A love that always protects my honor and my name.
A love that always trust that when I fall, I will rise again.

A love that always hopes I'll choose the best.
A love that perseveres when I've failed every test.

A love that never fails; this is your love for me.
A love as the Bible defines and brings God much glory.

Lawrence, thank you for four faithful years of God glorifying love!

Anniversary...Help!

2006-03-03T11:13:00.000-08:00

When my husband proposed more than four years ago, our engagement fell over Valentine's Day. Oddly enough, our wedding day falls 30 days after Valentine's Day. So, among the few, very few, creative and romantic things I have come up with in my life, I made a little flip, countdown calendar for Lawrence to use until we were married. Each year since we were married, I have put it up and used it to countdown to our wedding anniversary.

It sits above my kitchen sink, and I am the one who flips it and reads the day's quote a million times throughout the day. I am the one who's been reminded at least 6 times today already that there are only 13 days left until our anniversary.

13 days left, and I have no idea how to bless my husband this year in remembering our anniversary. You see, Lawrence is in the midst of I would say the busiest season of work he's had since we've been married. He's out of the house an average of 12 hours a day and is working Saturdays. I am tired to say the least. Even with the daily reminder that our anniversary is right around the corner, I have not taken the mental and emotional energy to come up with any ideas on how to celebrate our anniversary.

And, there's an additional snag. March 16th is our anniversary and also the first day of the men's retreat for the men of Chesapeake. We are both excited that Lawrence is going to be able to go as his boss was rather hesitant to give him the time off. I've thought about arranging for someone to babysit the boys so that I could pick Lawrence up from the retreat and take him overnight somewhere, but he has indirectly communicated that we don't have the means for that right now. Plus, I think there's probably more of my own desire to do something like that which prompted that plan.

So, why am I telling you all of this? Because I need ideas. I know there are some really creative (don't get too creative; I'm highly limited skill/talent wise) women out there who might have some great ideas that I can steal. :)
I really don't think Lawrence has time to read this blog, but by chance that you're reading the blog, honey, please don't check the comments!

So, comment away...

Monkey See, Monkey Do

2006-02-23T18:49:00.000-08:00

We are beginning to see that Judah is "Monkey See" and Tucker is "Monkey Do" as Judah sees what Tucker does and joins in. They both end up getting disciplined, though. I thought I'd share a couple of their latest 'tricks'.

Blessed by a Definition

2006-02-08T12:47:00.000-08:00

Listening to a sermon today, I heard a new definition of God's love, one that I pray will transform my heart and the way I define those circumstances in my life that tend to perplex or provoke me or cause me to despair. It is a definition of God's love as stated by John Piper, a quickly becoming favorite preacher/theologian of mine.

He defines God's love as such:

His [God's] doing whatever needs to be done at whatever cost to Himself or to us so that we will see and be satisfied by the love of God and the glory of God in Jesus Christ.

Read it again, slowly. Write it down and keep it on your kitchen counters to look at and meditate on throughout your day. I highly recommend listening to the entire sermon, and you can do so by clicking here. Type in "General" under Sermon series, "John Piper" under Preacher and "11-18-2001" under the date. The title of this message is Thankful for the Love of God! Why? It should pop up for you to listen to or download on your computer.

May you be blessed and more importantly, changed by this definition of God's love.

God's Grace at Work

2006-01-27T11:28:00.000-08:00

The boys have officially hit toddlerhood, and the discipline has indeed increased. But, so has their learning. It seems everyday, there is something new coming out of their mouths or some new physical accomplishment to show Papi (Lawrence) at the end of our day. Sometimes, like this week, there are bumps and scrapes, too.

Judah had such a week. He fell off our front stoop onto the cement sidewalk below. Blood spewed from several spots on his face. This was my first real trauma with the boys involving blood. Judah's mouth has bled many times already, but nothing like what happened on this occasion. My neighbor was outside with us and kindly picked up Tucker to put him inside so that I could take care of Judah.

Amazingly, I didn't freak out. I wanted to. In fact, I can distinctly remember thinking thoughts like, "ok, now I'm going to start to cry." But, the tears never came. I never panicked. I was panicking inside, but it did not show outwardly. So much was my calm response that Tucker never cried, even while Judah was screaming his little head off.

I quickly but calmly strapped both boys into their feeding chairs, picked up the phone while trying to blot the blood rolling down Judah's face and called my friend, Heather, who is a God send to the Almengor's, a friend who sticks closer than a brother, even literally as she lives in our court. I think she was at my front door before I hung up the phone. :)

All this to say that daily I am amazed by this truth I see at work in my mothering: God's grace is sufficient for me in my weakness. Not only in this instance, but others like when the boys disobey me simultaneously for the 4th time in a row and I would rather sit and cry, throw my hands up in the air and quit, but I discipline them instead. Or when I apply Judah's numbing cream and hold him down for his laser treatments while singing a song in his ear. Or when I don't loose my temper or become faithless when Tucker screams at me and turns his back to me because I don't give him his milk that is still heating up in the microwave.

These are moments that I am so aware I am not operating in the flesh, that there is a power at work in me that is outside myself, beyond my abilities for certain. How do I know this? Because I am not given to a calm disposition. I am not naturally mild mannered. I am not prone to have great faith in the midst of great odds. And, there are other moments in my life and even my mothering when that is strikingly obvious.

But, I thank God that He gives me these glimpses of His power that IS at work in me, about the process of finishing that good work He's begun in me. It's too often, most of my day in fact, that I mull over and become weighed down by the guilt of my own sin and by how many ways I am not measuring up to God's standard. But, for this moment and I pray this will become increasingly so of my meditations and the words of my mouth, I am giving glory to God and praising Him for truly making ALL things possible...even in me.

What are ways that God's grace has been at work in your life lately?

More "Firsts" I Want to Remember

2006-01-04T13:36:00.000-08:00

The boys went from two naps to one the week before Christmas. They wake up between 7 and 7:30 a.m. and now go down for their afternoon nap around 1:30. They usually sleep anywhere from 4 to 5 p.m. depending on that morning's activities.

And, speaking of activities, the boys had their first real "play date" with Kyle and Liam Powell at our local Chic Fil-A. Judah loved the slide and felt right at home climbing all over the stuff. It took Tucker a little while to acclimate, but eventually he began to play. Though mommy's ideals often envision no fast food for her children, especially french fries, we enjoyed chicken nuggets and waffle fries.

And, as long as we're throwing mommy's ideals out the window, let's write this one down for the history books. Judah ate an entire lollipop (orange) after his most recent laser treatment. Not just a suck or two and then thrown away like usual. Mommy let me eat the entire lolly! (He definitely deserved it.)

The Almengor’s Year in Review

2005-12-28T11:02:00.000-08:00

Many firsts this last year
Some not preferred, some we cheered!

First food, first steps and the boys first swim
Judah’s first laser treatment, his skin to dim.

The boys were dedicated to the Lord
To grow up under the instruction of God’s Word.

Lawrence started a new job, and Briana began blogging
The events of our lives, she is faithfully logging.

The boys’ 1st birthday, 3 parties in all
Except for a trip to the ER, we all had a ball!

Two trips to the ER, both for Judah
An unexpected health concern, the stress of asthma.

Many trips to Pennsylvania to see family and friends
And also a Sturge-Weber conference we were able to attend!

Bri’s brother gets marries and Lawrence’s brother proposes
To the woman of his dreams, through balloons and roses.

Lawrence and Bri got two weekends away
On one trip, our car broke down and boy did we pay!

Judah’s beautiful brain the MRI displayed
“No evidence of brain involvement,” his neurologist relayed.

A new caregroup at church was entrusted to our care
In this next year, many memories we’re hoping to share.

Another year of challenges, another year of joy,
Another year to see on our behalf God’s faithful hand deployed!

Wishing you a (late) Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year,
The Almengor’s

ABC's

2005-12-14T07:46:00.000-08:00

I wanted to write this down before my little men are grown men and know way more than their ABC's. This morning I sat on the floor and began to sing the ABC's to the boys (almost a daily occurence). Judah got up from my lap and went over to a pile of books on the floor in the corner. He picked up the Winnie the Pooh ABC book and brought it to me. I was amazed at the connection he made. I'm sure you're amazed, too. My little men are brilliant!

Christmas Traditions

2005-12-06T14:19:00.000-08:00

This will be Lawrence and my fourth Christmas as a married couple and second Christmas as parents, and I can't say that I've been good at or inspired to begin many new traditions of our own. I recently began reading a book, Treasuring God in Our Traditions by Noel Piper and have been freshly challenged and inspired to consider how I might build our family's traditions around God.

She tells of her experience as a new mother, realizing that for everything she and her husband did, she would have a little one asking, "why". She writes, "Why?" I realized that was a question I was going to have to answer from now on, not just for Christmas traditions that particular year, but for all years and every day. At that moment I knew that "just because" was no answer. Nor was "because that's the way Grandmother or Granddaddy do it" or "because it's pretty" or "because it's convenient" or "because that's what everybody does."

So in an attempt to make our traditions meaningful in the Almengor household, particularly at Christmas, I'm soliciting for input from others, for I have nearly no good ideas on my own. If there is anyone still reading blogs at this time of year, let me hear from you. What traditions have you incorporated in your home that help your family remember God, think upon God, center their thoughts and festivities around God?

A Soup for Your Leftover Turkey

2005-11-28T10:09:00.000-08:00

Turkey Wild Rice Soup recipe from Allrecipes.com

You can use long grain white rice for all or part of the wild rice, but reduce simmering time to 20 to 30 minutes.

3 (10.5 oz) cans condensed chicken broth
2 cups water
1/2 cup finely chopped onions
1/2 cup uncooked wild rice
8 slices of bacon*
1/2 cup margarine
3/4 cup flour
1/2 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. poultry seasoning
1/8 tsp. ground black pepper
2 cups half & half cream**
1 1/2 cups cooked, diced turkey meat
2 Tblsp. dry sherry***

In a large pot over medium heat, combine chicken broth, water, green onions and wild rice. Bring to boil, then reduce heat and simmer until rice is tender, 35-40 minutes. Meanwhile, cook bacon in a large skillet over medium heat until crisp. Allow to cool and then crumble. Set aside. When rice is tender, melt margaine in a medium saucepan over medium-low heat. Stir in flour, salt, poultry seasoning, and pepper all at once. Cook, stirring until smooth and bubbly. Stir in half & half and cook until thickened, 2 minutes. Stir half & half mixture into rice mixture. Stir in bacon, turkey and sherry. Heat through and serve.

*I used turkey bacon
**I used milk to cut down on the fat. The soup was still thick and tasted great!
***I didn't use at all.

Enjoy!

Great Cold Day Soups

2005-11-21T11:12:00.000-08:00

Here are two recipes that would be great to try on a very cold day. They are sure to warm you up!! One is more "healthy" than the other, but both are hearty and very tasty. If you try them, let me know what you think.

Baked Potato Soup (taken from Allrecipes.com)

12 slices of bacon*
2/3 cup margarine
2/3 cup flour
7 cups milk
4 large baked potatoes, peeled and cubed
4 green onions, chopped**
1 1/4 cups shredded Cheddar cheese
1 cup sour cream
1 tsp. salt
1 tsp. ground black pepper

Place bacon in a large, deep skillet. Cook over medium heat until browned. Drain, crumble, and set aside. In a stock pot or Dutch oven, melt margarine over med. heat. Whisk in flour until smooth. Gradually stir in milk, whisking constantly until thickened. Stir in potatoes and onions. Bring to boil, stirring frequently. Reduce heat, and simmer 10 minutes. Mix in bacon, cheese, sour cream, salt, pepper. Continue cooking, stirring frequently, until cheese is melted.

* I used Turkey bacon to cut down on fat content
**I didn't use onions on my first attempt at this, but would suggest using them for more flavor.
Finally, you may decide to add more salt or use chicken broth in place of or in addition to the milk for more flavor and to thin it out a bit. It's a really thick soup!

Meatball Soup (given to me by Heather Griger)

1 (14oz) can diced tomatoes
1 (14oz) can beef or chicken broth (Or you can make your own with bouillon)
1 1/2 cup water
1/2 tsp. Italian seasoning
16 frozen meatballs (1/2 oz. each)*
1/2 cup small dried pasta (use macaroni or smaller pasta)
1 cup loose packed frozen mixed veggies**

In a soup pot, mix diced tomatoes, broth, water, italian seasoning and bring to boil. Add meatballs, pasta and veggies to soup. Return to boil. Reduce heat and simmer for 10 minutes until tender. Sprinkle with Parmesan cheese.

*I used BJ's frozen Turkey meatballs and just cut them in half.
** I used frozen corn I had from the summer and some frozen beans from BJ's. You really can use whatever vegetable you want here.

Later this week, I'll have a wonderful soup recipe to use up leftover Thanksgiving turkey!

Bring on the Soup

2005-11-17T16:30:00.000-08:00

I LOVE a nice hot and hearty soup for dinner, especially as the weather begins to get that winter chill and I can see my breath in the air. Soups are relatively easy to make and definitely easy to eat. For me, they're a one pot meal, served with a side of crusty bread. It is a small comfort for those, like me, who just do not like the cold of winter. So, for the next several days, I will be posting some of my favorite soup recipes. NONE of them are Briana originals; they've all been given to me by other sources. I hope you'll try a few of my favorites. I'm sure that at least one of the soups will become a family favorite in your home!!

The first two soups I'm posting come from my mom. They may not be the healthiest, but they are really yummy! Everything my mom makes is yummy.

Zuchinni Garden Chowder: Yields: about 2 1/2 quarts

2 medium zuchinni, chopped (In the winter, you can buy it frozen)
2 T. minced fresh parsley (1 T. dried parsley if you don't have fresh)
1 tsp. dried basil
1/3 cup margarine or butter
1/3 cup flour
1 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. pepper
3 cups water
3 chicken bouillon cubes
1 tsp. lemon juice
1 (14oz.) can diced tomatoes, undrained
1 (12oz.) can evaporated milk
1 package (10oz.) frozen corn
1/4 cup grated parmesan cheese
2 cup shredded cheddar cheese**
Pinch of sugar (optional)

**In my futile attempts to eat more healthily, I cut this out altogether, and the soup is still wonderful. Really, you got to trust me on this one.

In a dutch oven or soup kettle, over med. heat, saute the zuchinni, parsley, basil in butter until veggies are tender. Stir in flour, salt, pepper. Gradually stir in water. Add bouillon and lemon juice; mix well. Bring to boil; cook and stir for 2 minutes. Add tomatoes, milk, corn; bring to boil. Reduce heat; cover and simmer for 5 minutes or until corn is tender. Just before serving, stir in cheese(s) until melted. Add sugar and garnish with parsley if desired.

Creamy Tomato Soup: Yields: about 8 servings

1 med. onion, chopped*
2 T. butter*
2 cans (14.5 oz) diced tomatoes, undrained
2 cans (10.75 oz) condensed tomato soup
1 1/2 cups milk
1 tsp. sugar
1/2-1 tsp. dried basil
1/2-1 tsp. paprika
1/8-1/4 tsp. garlic powder
1 package (8oz) cream cheese, cubed and softened

In a saucepan, saute onion in butter until tender. Stir in tomatoes, soup, milk, sugar, basil, paprika, and garlic powder. Bring to boil. Reduce heat; cover and simmer for 10 minutes. Stir in cream cheese until melted.

*We do not like onions (actually it's my husband's onion breath I don't like), so I always omit them and the butter. Also, it helps if you softened the cream cheese in the microwave a bit before you put it into the soup. Even still, you have to work out the lumps of cream cheese sometimes. But, it's well worth the effort. I've also made it without the cream cheese for a healthier version, and that's good, too!

Pumpkin Cookies

2005-11-14T11:01:00.000-08:00

This recipe is one from Allrecipes.com originally and is very yummy and easy to make. It's not overkill on the pumpkin either. I am not a huge pumpkin fan, and I had three for breakfast! :)

Pumpkin Cookies: Yields: 3 dozen

1/2 c. shortening (I use butter or marg.)
1 c. sugar
1 c. canned pumpkin
1 t. vanilla
2 c. flour
1/4 tsp. salt
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. cinnamon
1 1/2 c. butterscotch chips (I used chocolate chips)

Cream sugar and shortening (butter). Add rest of wet ingredients and mix. Add dry ingredients and mix. Stir in butterscotch (or chocolate) chips.
Bake in oven at 350 degrees for 8-10 minutes.

I found I needed to bake at least 10 minutes if not longer. I even forgot about the cookies this last batch that I made and they didn't burn and tasted great despite being in the oven longer than suggested! A great "no fail" cookie recipe for fall!!

ENJOY!

Under Pressure

2005-11-13T11:10:00.000-08:00

My husband and I feel like we're in a bit of a pressure cooker right now. Sick kids, financial pressures, marital conflict, ever increasing responsibilities to name of few of the pressures in this season of our lives. Many times, admittedly, I have been guilty of questioning God's goodness or even accusing Him of being a liar. 'Tis a fearful thing to see that statement in black and white for anyone who knows and loves God. But, my heart hardens quickly; I am a modern day Israelite, prone to wander. Nevertheless, the steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies, they never come to an end, and so by God's grace, I press on, confess sin, receive forgiveness, and continue to live in His truth and love.

I remember something my Sr. Pastor said once about the mark of a true believer. It was something like, "it is not the one who never falls, but the one who falls and gets back up again." Well, I am certainly scraped up and bruised from many falls, but my merciful God applies His healing balm of forgiveness again and again and again to me.

More recently, my prayer has been for God to open my eyes or just get them to look in the right direction to see all the ways He is pouring out His mercy and kindness to me and my family and even to fellow believers around me who are also walking through their own seasons of pressure and hardship. This morning as I cleaned up pee and poopie from the kitchen floor (*no, I'm not potty training my 15 month old twins yet; I'm not that crazy. Tucker was going "free" due to some severe diaper rash), I recalled our wonderful family time we had yesterday afternoon.

Somehow in the midst of snotty noses, nebulizer treatments, Judah's blistered and bruised face, Tucker's diarrhea, and an expensive car repair, we were able to get out for a walk in the woods, wheeling the boys over a blanket of dried leaves, and spend a little time together as a family. The boys had their first "romp" in piles of dried leaves. It really was more like clinging onto daddy while mommy got a few shots for Grandma's scrapbook. It was a delightful time together, and I was reminded that the Lord loves to lavish these blessings on me all the time. I just need Him to open my eyes to see all the ways He is being merciful and kind to me.

Thankfulness: The finale!

2005-10-24T15:19:00.000-07:00

But really, it should never end. Our thankfulness will go on and on into eternity! Thank you, Lord!!

#6 Way being thankful helps when our world just doesn't seem right:

As soon as you are thankful, your human relationships get healthier because they are shaped by faith. You become more dependent on God and less demanding of others.

Often we are demanding and judgmental with others, fearful and easily hurt because we are controlled by our relationships with people, instead of focusing first on our relationship with God. We always have to start with the Lord and His redemptive purposes before we think about the people in a particular situation. If you can understand God's good purposes for you, what you expect of people and what you fear about them both diminish. As you rest in the Lord, your heart is softened and strengthened at the same time. This gives you a greater strength to work through hard things, and a greater desire and ability to love and serve others.

My thankful list for today:
1. For my pastor, Arie, who preached a timely and timeless message on humility yesterday. I needed to hear it; I always need to hear it.
2. For my Sr. pastor's wife, Daryl, who courageously testified through tears of God's strength in her weakness, of God's mercy and blessing in a season when she anticipated and experienced hardship, and who perseveres in doing good to her husband and family when anyone would more readily throw in the towel. Thank you, Daryl, for your example!
3. The opportunity to pray for a friend this morning.
4. The privilege of caring for and comforting all the men in my humble abode while they are sick.
5. An honest and affordable mechanic who has been spending a lot of his own time working on our Honda's. Thank you, Lord, for Ken!
6. The kind compliment my husband paid me this morning via email.
7. A nice warm shower that I'm about to take. :)

Thankfulness: Part 5

2005-10-17T16:23:00.000-07:00

#5 Way being thankful helps when our world just doesn't seem right:

As soon as you are thankful, you start to see not only your situation but yourself--your own heart--through God's eyes. For the Christian, this means that you learn how to apply what Jesus has done to the specifics of your life.

For example, I Peter 1:3-5 says, "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade--kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time." That is the big truth; next comes God's personal understanding of your needs and his plans for your growth. "In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith--of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire--may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed" (I Peter 1:6,7).

When you have a thankful heart, you affirm that, because of Jesus, God is up to something good in your life. When you do that, have you ever noticed that you can admit you are weak, but still feel safe? That you can confess your sin, and be confident of God's forgiveness? You are humbled, but not shamed. You are more willing to be taught and corrected because you can see God's loving intent behind it (James 1:2-4).

My thankful list today:
1. a faithful and giving friend who took the boys for a couple hours so that I could have lunch with some caregroup ladies.
2. the birth of Luke Steven Chambers!!!
3. sales on some special food items I needed to make an appetizer for caregroup this week.
4. the sunshine. What mental health it brings my way!!
5. my mom, born (i won't publicly say how many years ago) today! Thank you, Lord, for my ma!

Thankfulness: Part 4

2005-10-13T07:41:00.000-07:00

#4 Way being thankful helps when our world just doesn't seem right:

As soon as you are thankful, you begin to link your life to God's promises. You learn how to see your circumstances through the lens of God's Word, instead of interpreting God's Word through the lens of your experiences, which always dilutes, devalues, and diminishes God. It's like looking through the wrong end of a telescope.

This is what happened when the nation of Israel was on the outskirts of the Promised Land (Num. 14). Moses sent twelve men to scout it out before they went in to conquer it. They all agreed that it was a wonderful land, just as God had promised. Yet ten out of twelve concentrated on the dangers they would face if they tried to conquer it. They instilled such fear in the people that they wanted to turn around and go back to Egypt!

The Lord responded, "How long will they refuse to believe in me, in spite of all the miraculous signs I have performed among them?... Not one of the men who saw my glory and the miraculous signs I performed...will ever see the land I promised on oath to their forefathers. No one who has treated me with contempt will ever see it" (14:11, 22-23).

God made promises to Israel that he was committed to keep, and he kept them. In Christ, he has made many more promises to us, and he intends to keep them as well. He wants us to believe him! He is a person--and when we trash our relationship with him in unbelief, it matters! Being thankful helps us to interpret our lives in the light of his faithfulness.

My thankful list today:
1. The Holy Spirit who stopped me in my tracks today with my complaining.
2. my pastors' wives who creatively plan, pray and work hard for the women at Chesapeake.
3. my boys have buddies who live very close by who they'll be able to play with on rainy days.
4. a good report at the doctors yesterday! Thank you, Lord, for your mercy!
5. my mom who loves to lavish as many material blessings as she can afford on us, in addition to all the spiritual and emotional blessings she generously bestows.

Thankfulness: Part 3

2005-10-12T00:04:00.000-07:00

#3 Way being thankful helps when our world just doesn't seem right:

As soon as you are thankful, you defeat Satan's efforts to control your interpretation of reality. Satan always wants us to doubt God and turn away from him. This has been going on since the Garden of Eden (Gen. 3:1). And without the Lord's help, our own hearts are predisposed to this kind of thinking. Because of sin, doubting God is our "default mode." It's our natural assumption.

I once spoke to a woman whose fears had completely taken over her life. I said to her, "It's like your fears are on speed-dial. They are right there, fully developed, with the push of one emotional button. You don't even have to go to the trouble of thinking about them. " And because she had thought them so often, they felt very real, very natural, very authentically "her." She trusted them because they were familiar and they came to her so easily. But they were lies that were destroying her life.

Being thankful breaks that cycle. It is one of God's ways to reset our default mode, to renew our minds and put us in touch with our new heart, which knows that God is good. Romans 8:32 says, "He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all--how will he not also, along with him, gracioulsy give us all things?" This needs to be our default mode.
Many people have a descending staircase of negativity that has operated in their heads for years. Once they have thought the first negative thought, they know exactly where they are going to end up--all the way at the bottom. They know ahead of time what each and every thought is going to be. And again, because the thoughts are so familiar, they seem powerful and irrefutable. If that's true for you, remember: Being thankful is a way to step back from those thoughts and turn to the Lord, to trust what he has to say about your life. Over time, this will become what feels real and natural to you.

I could have very well been the woman Susan Lutz, author of this booklet, was speaking about. How the description above depicts my history and to some degree, my present day posture still.
BUT, I am thankful today that God is changing me by His grace.
I must also give thanks for the husband He's given to me to patiently endure and lovingly persevere in not only shepherding me through this change but also for having faith in God for this change to take place in my heart and life, as it has not been easy coming.

What are you thankful for today?

Thankfulness: Part 2

2005-10-11T11:05:00.000-07:00

#2 Way being thankful helps when our world just doesn't seem right:

As soon as you are thankful, you start to see your life differently, through God's eyes. You are no longer problem-centered, but God-centered. That in itself is an incredible relief. Some situations are so difficult and painful that it seems as if you can't look anywhere. You can't look "behind" you to think about what happened in the past. You can't look to one side and think about what is actually happening now. You can't look on the other side, either, to think about what could have been--and should have been--happening now. You can't look in front of you to think about what lies ahead. It is all too overwhelming without God. You can't see how anything in your situation connects to the "big picture" promises that Go makes in His Word. You feel as if all you can do is concentrate on the very next, small step in front of you.

But stop for a minute. In that small space of the next step you need to take, find something for which you can be thankful. Find something that reminds you that God is with you. There will be something--a verse, a phone call from a friend that reminds you that God has not forgotten, a specific answer to prayer. Thank God specifically for that reminder of His presence. Let it shape the way you take that next small step. God wants you to see that nothing happens in your life that he cannot use redemptively, which means that he can use it for good, to bless you and help you to grow in your understanding of Him. That's saying a lot, but it is God who is saying it! Romans 8:28 says, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." God is on the throne, and the events of your life--even the bad things--are not beyond his reach. We don't need to give thanks for evil, but we are meant to give thanks for God's ability to overrule evil and use it for good.

In the Old Testament, Joseph realized this when he confronted his brothers, who had betrayed him, sold him into slavery, and set in motion all kinds of evil in his life. "You intended to harm me, " he tells them, "but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives" (Gen. 50:20).

When you are thankful, it helps you to realize that you are not defined by your problems or your circumstances. God has preceded them and he can overrule them. If you belong to Jesus, you are not defined by your failures, your sins, your weaknesses, or your enemies. They will not have the last word. God will.

My thankful list this morning (in part):
1. healing of my back and knee yesterday; it was from God for certain.
2. my husband who is always seeking to shepherd my heart and grow in loving and serving me as Christ loves the church.
3. a newly found grace and love for intercessory prayer.
4. new friends via blogs and email.
5. two beautiful boys who love to hug and kiss mommy all day long.
6. my friend, Carole, who speaks boldly yet lovingly wise words of truth and encouragement into my life.
7. the amazing women in my church who faithfully care for Carol Turek. Thank you, God, for these women.

Thankfulness

2005-10-10T20:30:00.000-07:00

It was right before Thanksgiving vacation that I recall asking one of my pastor's and his wife to come and pray for me in my home. The twins were about 3 1/2 months old; I was experiencing a lot of discomfort nursing them and battling infections one after the other due to a supressed immune system that just did not want to fight anything off on its own. My physical body was depleted of much needed energy, and my spiritual body was depleted as well.

One of my pastors, Jimmy, with his wife, Abby, came to pray for healing, but they also brought with them a heart to encourage and a few resources to leave with me so that I would continue to be encouraged in the days to come. One of the resources they left with me was a tiny little booklet entitled, Thankfulness...Even When It Hurts by Susan Lutz. This booklet is one of many a part of Resources for Changing Lives published by Christian Counseling and Education Foundation.

I picked up that little booklet recently and have been freshly encouraged and challenged by its timeless truths. I thought that I would take the next week or so to include portions of the booklet on my blog, not only as a way to reinforce these truths and challenges to my own heart and mind, but God willing, as a way to encourage any of my readers as well.

In the introductory sections of this little booklet, Susan reminds the reader that the created world is always giving thanks to the Creator. As she states, "Praise and thanks to God seem to be the natural, authentic, and spontaneous response of the rest of the created world. Human beings are the notable exception. Basically, we're not normal! If we saw things as they truly are, praise and thanks are apparently what we would do all the time."

Susan lists six ways that being thankful can help in times when our worlds just don't seem right (which has been a lot for me recently). I will list those six ways over the course of the next week. And, in addition to her remarks, I may make a list of the few things I'm thankful for on that day. Feel free to add your own list on your comment.

#1 Way being thankful helps when our world just doesn't seem right:

As soon as you are thankful, you enter the presence of God. You instantly are reminded that you are not alone in your situation, isolated, feeling as if you've been left to fight your battles on your own. When you are thankful, you remember that you are living your life in God's presence. Being thankful is not just a technique in which you talk yourself into a positive frame of mind. Thankfulness reminds you that you have a relationship with the living God. He is listening and involved. He is there with you. You are thinking like heaven, even if your circumstances seem more like something else.

My Shoplifting Son

2005-09-15T10:20:00.000-07:00

Clothing shopping w/ twin 13 month old boys is really not a good idea ever, but it is made a little easier if one is equipped with a large container of goldfish, teddy grahams or some other snack and a friend! My wonderful friend, Kate, met me at Old Navy yesterday and graciously strolled my boys around the store, entertaining them with songs and funny faces. The time came, however, when every song she could think of was sung, every funny face made twice and the snacks had to come out.

Here's the thing with snacks and shopping with twins. The snacks serve as a countdown to the time you have left to shop. When the snacks are all gone, you are all done shopping. That's really all there is to it! So, we were nearing the end of the snacks, but I wanted to try on just two more pair of jeans.

After finishing the snacks, Kate gave the boys their sippies. Tucker's little stopper (the thing that keeps the water from gushing out when tipped over) had come out because he had thrown it so many times onto the concrete floor. But, he was screaming, so Kate gave it to him and just watched as he learned the hard way that the water was going to come streaming out. He grabbed the sippy from Kate and proceeded to dump water all over himself. He looked up at Kate with a stunned face as if to say, "Am I wet? Did I just get myself wet? Did you let me get myself wet?" And then he belted out a very loud cry. With tears streaming down his face and him pulling at his wet shirt, I picked him up and consoled him.

There are several points of no return when shopping with twins. One is the snacks. Once the boys see them, your countdown has begun. The other point of no return is taking them out of the stroller. Once you cave and take them out of the stroller, you're not going to be able to put them back into the stroller without some serious screaming as a result. So, we had passed all points of no return. I knew it was time to check out!

With items in hand, I made my way to the cash register. Kate was holding Tucker, and Judah was sitting contentedly in the stroller. He's got his thumb, his best bud, to console him when the world is just not right! :) So, I begin to check out and Judah notices wrapped, fleece blankets within reach. As anyone who has kids knows, if something is within a child's reach, it must mean that it needs to be touched and played with. So, Judah began to pull at the blankets, and they started to hit the floor. I picked them up, but didn't bother moving him away from the blankets because this entertaining little game was keeping him amused while I checked out.

*Note to anyone not yet a mom: All ideas about how your kids will or will not act in public or how you will or will not cater to their temper tantrums in public is out the window once you actually have children in public.

Amazingly, I walked out with a bag full of clothing and was on my way! I thanked Kate profusly and began to part ways with her. I made one last check in the bottom of the stroller to make sure I had everything I came with and what I bought and discovered a little extra goody: a wrapped, fleece blanket! :) My son had managed to knock one right into the bottom of the stroller, and I would have brought it home had I not checked. I laughed as I walked back into the store to return the merchandise my son had just lifted, and thanked the O.Navy staff who were more than gracious and obliging to me, the stupid mom trying to clothing shop with 13 month old twin boys!!!

Pushing the Sleds

2005-09-14T09:15:00.000-07:00

Judah's newest favorite thing to do is to get behind our captain's chairs with the boys' feeding seats strapped to them, and push them around the kitchen as if he were a football player behind the sleds. I'm betting if I sat on one of them, he'd still be able to push it; he's so strong!

Things I Love About Judah & Tucker

2005-09-06T12:35:00.000-07:00

I love...

the way Tucker stands up in his crib to say 'good morning' to me when I walk through their door to get them up and ready for their day.
that they thump their one leg on the crib mattress while falling asleep at night.
the 'old man' gait with which Judah walks...very slowly, cautiously, yet beaming with pride that he's taking steps.
the way Tucker walks around with his hands clasped together behind his back like he's a military officer keeping the troops in line.
the way they both laugh uncontrollably whenever they're tickled.
how Judah snuggles into my neck when I pick him up out of his sleep before I go to bed.
that Tucker can sleep right through Judah's wailing but as soon as he hears my ankle crack, he jumps right up out of his slumber to see what is going on.
that Judah sucks his thumb just about every chance he gets.
the sound they make while eating their bananas in the morning.
that they sign "please" or "more" whenever I prompt them to ask politely for food.
the way they run their mouths over their crib rails as if it was a cob of corn.
when Tucker makes his fish face.
that they wrestle with each other when put in the same crib.
the smell of their breath.
their slobbery kisses (even Judah's, who ends up biting many times).
the way they peek around the corner of the kitchen while sitting in their feeding chairs whenever Papi comes home or the Abuelos have come to visit.
the way they "dance" whenever I put some music on that has a beat.
the way they stick their faces right up to the red lights on their basketball hoop.
how they sit so differently in the stroller when I take them for a walk, i.e. Judah laid back with his thumb in his mouth, usually hanging onto the side with his other hand and Tucker sitting straight up looking from side to side, not wanting to miss a thing.
how they light up when other kids are around.
the way they'll pick food out of the pocket in their bibs once I've removed the tray as if they have found a hidden treasure.
that Judah will give nearly anyone a smile if asked for one.
how Tucker sits puzzled for a few moments after he's hurt himself as if to say, "did I just bump my head?"
how wonderfully different they are

Response to Hurricane Katrina

2005-09-02T11:00:00.000-07:00

Like many of you, I have been glued to the recent news reports of Hurricane Katrina and all its devastating aftermath. My thoughts have turned many times throughout the day to what I've seen or heard, and there has come quite an emotional response. Last night after watching some news coverage, I commented to my husband that watching those scenes was like watching the wrath of God and mercy of God converge in one place and on one selected group of people. He reminded me that the greatest picture and most moving display of God's wrath and mercy converging was at the cross of Christ. This was a good reminder to me to stir my heart's affections for that amazing display of God's glory, His mercy and grace at the cross of Calvary where my Savior died that I might have my greatest need met.

Providentially, I have been reading through John Piper's Seeing and Savoring Jesus Christ. This morning I read a chapter entitled The Waves and Wind Still Know His Voice. I wanted to post the whole of its contents here, but I am not technologically savvy enough to figure out how to do that. So, I want to encourage those who have the book to read that chapter and be informed on what a biblical, God glorifying response to our nation's recent tragedy looks like.

Many of you are praying and may find yourselves, like me, perplexed at times on exactly how to pray, what to pray. I am going to simply type out the prayer Piper writes at the end of this chapter for those of you who do not have the book but may wish to pray this prayer for those enduring the effects of Hurricane Katrina.

O Lord, the suffering in the world is so widespread and the pain is so great! Have mercy, and waken the souls of suffering millions to the hope of some relief now and unsurpassed joy in the age to come.
Send your church, O God, with relief and with the word of the Gospel that there is forgiveness of sins through faith in Christ and that no suffering here is worth comparing to the glory that will be revealed to the children of God.
Protect your church, Father, from callous thoughts about calamities that leave millions destitute, and protect her also from cowing to the critics, like Job's wife, who cannot trust the wisdom and power and goodness of Christ in the midst of inexplicable misery. Oh, help our unbelief. Incline our hearts to your Word and to its assurances that you "work all things according to the counsel of your will" and that "no purpose of yours can be thwarted" and that you are doing good and acting wisely in ways that we cannot now even dream.
Keep us in peace, O Lord, and forbid that we murmur and complain. Grant us humble and submissive hearts under your mighty hand. Teach us to wait and watch for your final and holy purposes in all things.
Grant that we would "rejoice in hope" even when present circumstances bring us to tears. Open the eyes of our hearts to see the greatness of our inheritance in Christ, and send us with tender hands to touch with mercy the miseries of the world. In Jesus' name we pray, amen.

Finally, let me also include a link to John Piper's website where he spoke to the Tsunami disaster last December. His comments on it, I believe, would apply to the most recent disaster in our Gulf Coast. It is entitled Tsunami, Sovereignty, and Mercy.

Scripture Memory Put To Music

2005-08-16T09:10:00.000-07:00

This morning I sat infront of my little men as they ate their breakfast and sang at the top of my lungs "John 3:16", from the Seeds of Faith CD, put out by Provident Distribution Group. I must highly recommend this CD, along with Seeds of Courage. As I sat and sang the words to this precious verse, I was overcome with gratefulness by its truth. For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.

Initially as I sang, I wondered if my neighbors would be irritated because I play our music so loudly when daddy's not home! :) But that thought prompted another thought. All around me are folks who would not appreciate this song, who would not see the wonderful mercy in this verse, who would not claim this verse as their life's only hope. That thought ushered in such gratefulness to my heart that the Lord placed His hand of mercy on my life, apprehended me out of the darkness and brought me into His glorious light. As if that wasn't enough, he gives me the opportunity to daily proclaim his goodness and greatness to my sons, who will one day, by God's grace, receive Him as their Savior. Thank you, Lord.

Let me recommend another resource our family has benefitted from immensely. They are also scripture memory CD's, put out by Forever Grateful Music, scripture memorization songs by Mark Altrogge. There are now 5 CD's out, the newest being The Word of the Cross, fully loaded with the wonderful truths of scripture, put to a variety of styles of music helping young and especially old to commit scripture to memory.

**For those who are not so technically inclined like myself, you can click on the highlighted phrases and you will be taken to another link where you can view and order the materials I wrote about in this entry.

Happy First Birthday, Judah and Tucker!

2005-08-03T22:03:00.000-07:00

One Year Ago, I weighed 170 on the dial,
Waiting for you both to decide
To greet us with your smiles.

You didn't want to come when expected;
August 1st was your due date.
So for mommy, pitossin was selected.

In the labor room, we began at 9
And for many hours, mommy was fine.

By supper time, contractions became harder.
Without medication to ease the pain,
Mommy felt like a martyr.

We waited and groaned,
But you didn't want to come.
So, to the OR for some medication and more fun.

At 4:08 am, Judah came out beaming.
Only two minutes later,
Tucker came out screaming.

Mommy cried at the sight of you;
She was so relieved
That after nine long months,
There really were two!

Both were so strong;
Both so unique.
Right out of mommy's womb
You both took a leak!

Judah went one way
and Tucker the other
With so many waiting
The both of you to smother.

Our first sight of Judah
Caught red in our eyes.
Told it was bruising
And no need to cry.

We soon learned Judah was made
With red all over his skin,
And on its own would never grow dim.

There was more to his birthmark;
It was more than skin deep.
It could effect his brain and eyes;
With this news we lost some sleep.

We were caught in the middle
Of celebration and sorrow.
All we could do was pray
And wait for tomorrow.

Five long days we waited
And then finally took you home
That first night, the four of us all alone.

No sleep for the weary
Up 'til five in the morning
When finally the both of you were snoring.

So many hours spent in bed
That first week is so hazy
So much work just to feed you,
No time to be lazy.

The first week turned to first month
And first month turned to two.
Only by God's grace
Did we get through.

We had so many who came to help,
to hold, fold, clean and feed.
Every day for 8 weeks
From 9 to 3!

Nursed you for 6 months
And then had to wean
Though mommy ate much
She was growing too lean.

40+ visits to doctors this year
For Judah and Tucker's life
The nurses cheer.

"Laryngomalatia" made you both breathe loudly.
"They are just fine,"
I would tell people proudly.

Judah, my little trooper,
You've been poked at and prodded.
For God's pleasure and your good,
Sturge Weber He's allotted.

The redness we hope will fade
But your beaming smile
We pray will never go away.

Tucker, our joy
And Judah's abiding friend,
What wisdom of God
A twin to send.

In this first year,
You have both so much changed
Mommy and Daddy's lives forever rearranged.

The Giver of all good gifts
Two treasures He's given
Judah and Tucker,
Sent to us from Heaven.

Two Quotes for Your Consideration

2005-07-13T06:00:00.000-07:00

After having battled alongside me last night into the wee hours of the morning with a number of my sinful responses, my husband wisely and lovingly directed me to read the following quotes this morning to help me guard against condemnation and self effort today. I'm going to type them up and post them on my kitchen cabinets so that I can reminded throughout the day of the truth in those moments when my heart seeks to condemn me. Perhaps, these quotes will make it to your cabinet doors as well:

The Lord hears us crying, "I am so weak, evil, stupid, and incapable that I cannot overcome this sin." We are lovingly corrected: "'Be strong in the Lord and His mighty power.' The One who has loved you gives you a nature that makes you capable. You must have faith in the power of His might. Your Adversary, who says that you cannot resist, lies and seeks your harm. Do not believe him."

"I am protected by the truth that though I feel weak, I am strong; though I may fall, I possess Christ's righteousness. And, though I am not perfect, I have peace with my God who has provided the faith I could not conjure (for faith, too, is a gift of God), the salvation I could not earn, and the Spirit I daily need."

Quotes taken from Holiness by Grace by Bryan Chapell, pp.143 & 148

Mended

2005-07-12T12:34:00.000-07:00

On August 3, 2004, my life changed forever! My twin sons were born into the world at 4:08am and 4:10 am. Judah, the oldest by two minutes, was born with a chronic medical condition called Sturge Weber Syndrome. This very rare syndrome, not genetically linked and with no explanations as to why it occurs, comes with a long list of complications of which I won't get into here. It requires a multi-disciplinary approach, thus causing us to see a host of doctors, all of whom are trying to help us priortize what to tackle first re: Judah's condition.

I will say that for all that could potentially take place within someone with SWS, we have been relatively fortunate. God has been merciful to us for we enjoy a relatively normal life with Judah.

In addition to the many doctor's visits and various prescriptions needed for Judah, I have had numerous health concerns over the last year as well. Nursing the boys was a challenge, to say the least. And accompanied with it was a lot of pain that no one could really explain and no remedy ever cured other than finally giving up nursing when the boys were 6 months. In addition to my nursing woes, I have had numerous infections, the details of which I will spare you. I myself have seen several specialists who are still trying to figure out what's wrong with me and how to fix me. :)

Through all of this, the truths in a song by one of my favorite musical duos, Watermark, entitled Mended has been such a comfort to me. I want to write out the words for you here. May you be encouraged by the truth that our Creator knows us inside and out, every physical need we have and more importantly, every spiritual need we have! Thank you, Lord, that You have provided the remedy for our EVERY need through the cross of Jesus Christ, your one and only Son. (John 3:16)

You repair all that we have torn apart
And you unveil a new beginning in our hearts
And we stand grateful for all that has been left behind and all that goes before us

Chorus:
You've got all things suspended,
All things connected,
Nothing was forgotten,
'Cause Your love is perfect...
You are our Healer,
You know what's broken,
And we're not a mystery to You, to You

We will dance as You restore the wasted years
And You will sing over all our coming fears
And we'll stand grateful for all that has been left behind and all that goes before us...

Bridge:
Lord, you mend the breech,
You break every fetter,
You give us Your best,
For what we thought was better...
And You are to be praised
You are to be praised..
You've got all things suspended,
All things connected
Nothing was forgotten
'Cause Your love is perfect
You are our Healer
You know what's broken
And we're not a mystery to You, to You
Mender of the breech...

Mended by Watermark, The Purest Place album

Noise Control

2005-07-09T11:47:00.000-07:00

Here's a wacky thing I do in my home to make me feel like I have a little control over the amount of noise and chaos going on in my home, particularly my kitchen, at any given moment. It's a little odd, but it works for me. I turn on the radio in the midst of trying to get dinner together, my boys screaming, and my husband trying to talk to me at the end of his day. When we sit down for dinner ( or before if I can't make it that long) I turn off the radio. The boys are still screaming; my husband and I may still be trying to have a conversation, but there comes a sense of "ahhhhh, quiet" because I eliminated some noise if not all of the noise. Try it. You might like it!

Lawrence's Birthday Surprise

2005-07-07T08:47:00.000-07:00

We have lived in our townhome for nearly 3 years, and we have never used our deck. It's a really nice deck, too; rather large for a townhome deck. But, we have never been able to afford a grill and furniture for the deck. Occasionally, we've taken out the benches that belong to our dining room table and used them to prop up our feet while we sip on wine and watch the clouds roll by or the stars at night. But, for the most part this wonderful deck of ours has gone unused.

Although the deck has gone unused, it has not gone un-weathered. It was in desperate need of some care this year. So, my husband, who is well intentioned but not as well gifted in the area of home maintenance, sought to care for our deck recently. He managed to power wash the deck and stain it with the input of several friends, their tools and manual help from his dad. He actually did a very nice job!

He finished staining the deck right before he left for Florida for four days on business. Initially, we talked about and attempted to arrange for me to go with him to Florida without the boys. But to make a long story short, a competing desire to become debt free won out. I was most definitely tempted to struggle with our circumstances, but God provided grace in the form of an idea!

We had a friend who recently offered a used grill to us for FREE. AND, our neighbors gave us an old picnic table with benches and four chairs that were well used, weathered and unwanted. Despite our lack of funds to furnish our deck, God provided. It wasn't a nice Weber grill with a side burner or the tile top table from Home Depot that I wanted, but it was something to work with.

Lawrence's birthday is July 17th, and I always have a hard time with gifts for him. He always wants a CD or a book. Since there is always new music coming out and new books being published, he figures this gift will never get old. Music and reading are also two of my husband's favorite pastimes. While he may enjoy receiving a new book and/or CD for his birthday each year, I don't always enjoy giving it to him every year. That's just boring to me. So, every once in a while I try to think of something that will equally bless him but that I also will enjoy giving.

This year it came together for me. I decided to put the deck together while he was away in Florida. I knew he wanted Christmas lights strung around the deck like a friend of ours did. We had the grill from another friend and this old picnic table that I talked about painting. With the help and input of many friends (literally, it took about 12 people to pull off this surprise) I had Christmas lights hung around the deck, the grill cleaned up and brought to our house and the picnic table painted.

Wonderfully, a friend suggested doing the table "Terps" style. Up there with reading and music is Lawrence's alma mater, University of Maryland. He is a huge Terrapin fan! So, after all 12 of my servant friends gave input on this table, I finally decided to paint the table red with a big "M" on the top and little Terrapin mascots on the picnic benches. I did not paint the Terrapins myself lest you think I'm in the least bit gifted. A friend of mine outlined the "M" for me to paint (I can handle paint by number) and she also painted the Terrapins. Here are pictures of the table:

It was a lot of work, a combined effort, and a huge blessing to my husband. What could have been four days of misery waiting for my husband to come home turned into an experience of God's mercy and blessing to me and my family through the willing and gifted hands of many friends. Thank you everyone who helped pull this off!

Scattered Thunderstorms

2005-06-30T11:36:00.000-07:00

For the last three days, the weather channel has forecasted scattered thunderstorms for our area. That normally would not be a big deal except that I had planned a "surprise" for my husband who was out of town for three days which required me to do some work outside. The scattered thunderstorms presented quite a challenge, but I managed to overcome it, and was amazingly able to bless my husband (with the help of MANY friends) upon his arrival home. (I'll tell you about the surprise in another blog entry).

All was 'right' last night. My husband came home, was delighted by the surprise I planned for him; the boys slept a long night, giving Lawrence and me a little extra sleep that we desperately needed. But, we got out of bed, and were greeted by our own custom made 'scattered thunderstorms'. Here's what it looked like:

Lawrence needed some underwear; the only ones clean smelled like fuel due to our gas dryer emitting some foul oder into one of my recent loads of laundry. (still don't know what that's all about) We found an unidentifiable bug in our bedroom. You would think this girl from the country would 1. know her bugs and 2. not be frieked out by them, but neither is true. My husband read through the mail that came yesterday, two letters of which were collection notices for hospital bills that we've been told again and again by both our insurance company and the hospital that we are not responsible to pay...a quandry for sure. These notices come just when we are planning to re-finance our home. I had a difficult conversation with my husband over the phone while he drove to work that drew out my heart's inclination to fear and be selfish all at the same time. And, my sons have a violent diaper rash that I have been unable to treat with every recommendation and prescription our doctor has suggested. All this before 10 am.

I know there are too many of you who can relate to the morning I just described. The temptation for me in these moments is to be shaken, to melt into a puddle of tears and fear the worst, to feel overwhelmed by all my responsibility and fall, rather jump, into a pit of self pity. All these responses are first, not godly, nor are they productive.

God, in His mercy, is reminding me more and more quickly in these moments that I have a choice. I can throw up my hands and decide to give up and give in to temptation or I can persevere by praying and seeking perspective from His Word. By His grace I chose the latter this morning. I picked up a magazine my husband receives and read an article by Nancy Wilson. It was on having a Sabboth meal, something altogether unrelated to the circumstances of my morning, but in it was this quote which encouraged my heart immensely and set my gaze in the right direction once again.

The point is to celebrate before the Lord around the table, knowing that He is preparing a table for all of us where He will be seated at the head.

That simple phrase provided a wonderful reminder that this world and all its trouble--it's not my home. I'm here for a short time. I may endure many trials, big and small, but it doesn't matter because I'm not staying here. I'm moving on to Heaven, where there are no unidentifiable bugs, smelly underwear, violent diaper rashes or medical bills, and where there will be no scattered thunderstorms, because the SON shines brightly all day and night there.

First Steps

2005-06-24T14:26:00.000-07:00

Tucker took his first steps unassisted today...very exciting times in the Almengor household!

Cool Refreshing Drink

2005-06-24T14:21:00.000-07:00

Lawrence and I (especially Lawrence) have been enjoying a "new" drink this summer. We've had the flavored lemonades in restaurants before and really enjoyed them. So, I thought I'd try to make it myself at home. It turned out to be quite easy.

Make Lemonade however you like..fresh lemons, sugar and water
OR my way: Good 'Ol Countrytime Lemonade mix w/ water.

Add sliced strawberries and let it sit until it starts to turn pink. Leave strawberries in until you like the taste or serve it. It's very yummy!

Cool Summer Meals

2005-06-21T22:03:00.000-07:00

To respond to Laurie's blog on quick summer meals, I am posting a few of my ideas.

Baked Potato Bar:

Potatoes
Bacon
Broccoli
Shredded Cheese
Sour Cream
Butter

You can cook potatoes, bacon and broccoli in the microwave, keeping it cool in the kitchen.
Let me know if you come up with any other fun bar toppings.

Italian Crock Pot Chicken:

6 Chicken Breasts
8 oz. bottle of Italian Dressing
Throw this into slow cooker and cook for 6-8 hours. Drain juice; shred chicken and then add the following mixture:

1 (10.75oz) can cream of chicken soup
1 cup chicken broth
1- 8oz.block of cream cheese
1/2 tsp. dried basil
1/2 tsp. dried thyme

Slow cook this for 1 more hour on low. Serve over noodles.

Yummy Fruit Salad:

1 lg. can of chunk pineapple
1 sm. can of mandarin oranges
1.5 pints strawberries
2-3 bananas
1 packet of instant vanilla pudding mix

Drain pineapple juice into bowl. Mix the pudding mix with it until smooth.
Dump pineapple. Drain off the juice in mandarin oranges and then dump the oranges into fruit salad. Cut strawberries and throw into salad. Slice bananas and put into salad as close to serving as possible. Mix it up and chill. It's Yummy, yummy!!

On Napping

2005-06-20T09:20:00.000-07:00

I love tea, particularly hot, herbal teas. One of my favorites is Celestial Seasonings' Sleepytime and Sleepytime Extra. On the backs and bottoms of Celestial Seasonings' boxes are quotes which I am faithful to read. Here's one I read recently that is especially resonating with me given the season of life I'm in right now.

When we were young, the 'tall' ones told us when to slow down. When the demands of the world became too great, their powers of reasoning proved maddeningly accurate. 'I think someone's tired, ' they observed. And off for a nap we went. Ten minutes later, our dreaming faces had put us back in good favor with our exasperated parents. When we woke the world somehow made sense again. What kind of truth might a napping child impart to us? Now we are the tall ones, living in a complicated world with no one to tell us when to slow down. The slumbering little one knows the value of not having the last owrd, of accepting a minor defeat. It's so simple. Miss out on something. Put yourself back in your own good favor. The world will wait. David Jacoby

With that written, I am off to put my little ones down for a nap, followed by some quiet time in the Word and then in my bed. Hopefully, those two won't be one in the same. :)

Judah's blog

2005-06-16T13:07:00.000-07:00

I started a new blog for Judah alone. It is to keep folks who are interested abreast to his medical condition. I will be posting new developments in his diagnosis, doctor's appointments, prayer requests and praises. It is http://judahupdate.blogspot.com/.

Our Sufficiency in ALL Things

2005-06-15T08:10:00.000-07:00

I am a 28 year old toddler who retorts all day either in word or deed, "me do it, me do it." And, I end up just like a toddler with food all over the floor and/or my face, skinned knees and bruises all over my head (sometimes literally). But, I am growing. God is humbling me, primarily through my circumstances, and He is graciously teaching me through His Word and some excellent preaching by my Senior Pastor, Jim Cannon, how to walk in the Spirit in an ongoing manner.
My wonderful husband, who cares for my soul and shepherds my heart so effectively recently asked me to read a page from Beside Still Waters by Charles Spurgeon. I have read it several times for the last few days, meditating on its truths and provoked by its call to dependence on a faithful, gracious God. I'm posting a few paragraphs here for your encouragement. If you have the book, it is found on page 252.

Right now and at all moments that will occur between now and glory, God's grace will be sufficient. This sufficiency is declared without any limiting words. Thus the Lord Jesus is sufficient to uphold, sufficient to strengthen, sufficient to comfort, sufficient to make trouble useful, sufficient to enable you to triumph, sufficient to bring you out of ten thousand trials, and sufficient to bring you home to heaven.

Whatever is good, Christ's grace is sufficient to bestow. Whatever would harm, His grace is sufficient to avert. Whatever you need, His grace is sufficient to give, if it is for your good. Whatever you would avoid, His grace can shield, if His wisdom dictates.

I am glad that they cannot put all sufficiency into words. If so, it would be finite. Since we can never express it, glory be to God, for it is inexhaustible. Our demands can never be too great.

Baby Nightmares

2005-06-13T18:51:00.000-07:00

A few nights ago my husband and I were sitting in our basement watching the O's when we heard a strange squeal coming from our baby monitor. It was one of the boys yelling out in their sleep.
Lawrence said, "I hate that sound. It sounds like they're having a nightmare or something."
I chuckled and replied, "How could they be having nightmares? They haven 't been exposed to anything that could scare them. They don't watch TV; we rarely take them to the mall or any other place for that matter that would have images of scary things."
My more thoughtful husband rebutted with, "They do have experiences that could create a context in their minds for scary things, such as being stuck in their crib in a dark room when mommy has just shut the door, never to return."

I caught on to his train of thought and began to imagine what might constitute a "baby nightmare": a bottle of milk hung inches in front of one's mouth with no way of reaching it, a diaper rash that mommy keeps wiping with wet wipes over and over and over again, being left in a play pen with no toys for an entire half hour or being given a bath every day, twice a day (this actually happened to my nephew b/c he had such bad excema, poor thing).

These imagined baby nightmares seemed rather comical to me given the true harsh realities of life. From my perspective, there are a lot more scary things in life than not being able to reach a bottle dangling inches from my face. Living life longer than my 10 month old twins, I know there are bigger things to worry about than being left in a play pen without any toys. There are the nightmares of being a pimple face in Jr. High, having a bad hair day or a bad hair life for that matter, locking one's keys out of the car or going to Starbucks for a mocha frap. only to be told they are out of chocolate syrup! More seriously, there are the nightmares of cancer, the loss of loved ones by death, theft, murder and abuse of power.

But, what threats do my "nightmares" pose to God? Do the many things that concern me seem comical to the Lord? In my laughter about these potential nightmares my boys may be having was also some serious compassion, a desire to wake them up and reassure them that everything is alright. I'm taking care of them; they have nothing to worry about. They will never have a bottle dangling infront of them, out of reach or be kept in a play pen without any toys. They're definitely not getting bathed twice a day. (They're lucky if they get bathed twice a week!)

While God in His wisdom and power would be justified to find the things I worry about comical, I think more often He takes a compassionate posture toward me. At least that is what Scripture leads me to believe. Littered throughout His Word are reassurances that He is taking care of me, He loves me and will never leave me. I have nothing to worry about.

Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you. Heb. 13:5

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jer.29:11

Be stong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. Jos.1:9

You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me. Ps. 139:5

Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens. Our God is a God who saves; from the Sovereign Lord comes escape from death. Ps. 68:19,20

Thank you, Lord that both the nightmares we experience and the ones we just fear experiencing cannot eclipse Your Sovereign plan and purpose for us, nor keep us from your love, provision and protection. Truly, there is none like you among the gods, O Lord, nor are there any works like yours. Ps. 86:8

Hypermobility and Our Foundation in Christ

2005-06-10T07:13:00.000-07:00

Several months after I delivered the boys, I realized I was in quite a bit of pain in my lower back and hips. You figure fifty extra pounds, a whole lot of that relaxin hormone released into my body, 16+ hours of unmedicated labor, and five months of nursing twin boys with a great appetite, my body was a little out of whack. I finally managed to get to a physical therapist. (Therese Griffin rocks!) Over the course of my treatment, I learned that I am what they call "hypermobile", which basically means that I'm incredibly flexible. This worked for me as a cheerleader throughout highschool, but I'm not sportin' a highschooler's body or lifestyle any longer. I'm luggin' around twins, and hypermobility doesn't really work for me anymore!

The therapist explained my hypermobility to me in terms of what is "normal". He said normally, people's joints can take a bit of a jolt and remain in place. Then, there's me. The slightest beating on my joints and they're out of alignment. The focus of my therapy, therefore, was to strengthen the muscles and ligaments around my joints in order to keep them in place. Made sense to me. Since I've been doing the various exercises the therapists suggested, I have felt a lot better. It has required discipline to do the exercises, but when I don't do them, I feel its affect on my back and hips.

I thought of my hypermobility recently as I read through a passage in Luke 6.
I will show you what he is like who comes to me and hears my words and puts them into practice. He is like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built.

Much like my physical body needs strengthening during times that I am not injured in order to help my joints respond to the beatings of everyday life, my heart needs strengthening during the times when life is a bit more "trial-free" so that it can endure and stand firm through the stormy seasons life brings my way. Luke 6 tells me the type of strength training I need: to be a doer of the Word and not a hearer only. I have recently been convicted by the pool of spiritual knowledge I can draw from but often don't when the rubber meets the road. Often my actions don't match what I claim to know and believe the truth to be.

But, I do have those around me whose lives match their claims. One such friend just recently found out she has a chronic medical condition. This would be overwhelming news at best for most of us. And, while I'm sure she has had her moments, she has overwhelmingly proclaimed the faithfulness and goodness of God to her and her family throughout this time in her life. And, she affirms her trust in God who has promised to never leave her or forsake her. Her foundation is well built, for the storm has come and she remains steady.

A favorite verse of mine for the hope of being described in such a way rather than reflecting it currently is Proverbs 31:25
She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.

One day, I trust that I WILL laugh at the days to come, and by God's grace, as I build my foundation through applying His truth rather than simply knowing His truth, I will see my house stand firm through the trials of life. I pray for you, reader, that you are building a firm foundation that will stand when the storms of life rage against your home.

The Comfort of the Cross

2005-06-02T13:13:00.000-07:00

This afternoon I took a trip up the road to Walmart. This is not something I try to do often with my two boys in tow. But, we had been out of town over the weekend and busy in the evenings trying to catch up. The weekend was not going to afford any opportunities for me to run my errands either. So I loaded and unloaded the boys, and we strolled through Walmart picking up various items we needed. As you might imagine, the bus I try to "drive" (aka the Graco duo glider [it far from glides]) and more importantly the cargo I carry in it, the twins, draw much attention when out in public. Initially, I think people notice two babies, but their countenance quickly changes when they take notice to Judah's face, mostly all red from the port wine stain.

Some people inquire, and I am grateful they do. More people just look and then look away. Many children point as their parents try to avert their attention so as to not embarrass themselves or me. Today, it got to me. On our way out, one little boy too many pointed and said, "mommy, mommy, look at that baby's face; it's all red. Why is it red?"

I stopped and let it sink in again. My little boy, who I think is so beautiful and delightfully dispositioned, is different. He doesn't look like most kids. Even among Sturge Weber kids, he has one of the more significant port wine stains I've seen. And, today it bothered me. I started to tear up, beginning to give full reign to my natural response as a mother. But then God's Spirit graciously brought to mind Psalm 139, a passage that has been a primary source of encouragement to me since I carried the boys in my womb.
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

As I have rehearsed that passage over and over again in my mind, seeking to renew my mind with the truth and thereby see my emotions fall in line, I have often found comfort and peace. However, today I was especially struggling with self pity, and I wanted to believe that I was the only one who had to walk through such difficult circumstances.

Once again the gospel came through with comfort I could not derive by comparing my situation with others. I remembered that Christ was no handsome fellow by the world's standard. Isaiah 53 tells me, He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him. He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering... Yet he is most beautiful to me and one day, I pray will be to my sons as well.

I cry again today, but this time my emotions are a response to the Truth rather than what the world and my own sinful heart wants me to believe. I rejoice that Judah will have a unique opportunity to share in the sufferings of Christ, and I pray that God will give me grace and wisdom to shepherd his heart so that he will rejoice in that opportunity as well.

Not So Intuitive

2005-05-24T06:27:00.000-07:00

Before I had children, I felt a bit awkward with kids. I couldn't ever figure out how to do carseat straps, put bottles together, or change their diapers without some additional mess being created. When I found out I was having twins, I once again was assured that I am, at least in part, God's comic relief. I found great comfort and still do from my friend, Laurie, also a mom of twins, who often tells of her lack in the area of motherhood. (She really is an amazing mother, but has a very humble estimation of her abilities and gifts).

I can remember for weeks after the boys were born, my husband and I would look at each other, puzzled as to why we couldn't seem to figure out their cries. Everyone tells a new mom, "you'll figure it out; you'll just know." Well, for me motherhood wasn't and continues not to be so intuitive. To take a daunting task and make it more difficult, I was graciously given a "special needs" child. Judah's Sturge Weber is so multi-faceted that even after 9 months of consultations with a board room full of doctors from a multitude of disciplines, being plugged in with a SWS parents' network on line and reading much literature on SWS, I am still only partially aware of what is going on with Judah and what could happen with him down the road.

All this to say, I am a mom not of intuition but of God's grace. While I continue to grow in this calling to serve my boys, there are daily reminders that I am covered by His mercy and instructed by His Spirit.

Let me share a few examples:
His mercy has covered me when I had forgotten to close the basement door, and my mobile Tucker managed to get down on the landing to play with a grocery bag that was sitting there, his back only about a half a foot to the flight of stairs down to the basement. His imminent danger was not even registering on his radar screen or mine for that matter, but the Lord saw him.

Or, this morning as I put Judah down for his morning nap and left Tucker to play in the living room downstairs. (You'd think I'd learn not to leave this boy by himself) I walked downstairs and didn't see Tucker in the living room. I had a brief moment of panic, but realized panic accomplishes nothing; I must look for him and remain calm. I turned the corner to find that he had pulled a tiny piece off my phone's headset cord which he could've swallowed and choked to death by the time I found him. Once again, God had my back.

A prayer I began praying when the boys were about 4 months old was simply, "Lord, if there's something I need to know or see about the boys, show me." With Judah's SWS and just my general propensity to fret about their well being, I found myself at times consumed with doubts and fears that I was asking all the right questions at our doctor's visits or reading what I needed to read in order to become a more informed mom. This simple prayer combined with the truth of Psalm 32:8, I will teach you and instruct you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you, ushered in a godly confidence I desperately needed.

In big ways and small, I have seen time and time again the Lord answering this prayer. For instance, just yesterday, I put the boys down for a nap and Judah was still crying off and on 15 minutes after I had put them down. That was unusual for him. I had that prompting to go and check on him. When I opened up the door, my little man was sitting up in his crib, thumb in mouth, eyes completely shut, nearly falling over every time he'd begin to really doze off. The scene likens the one of a person dozing off in class with his head on his hand. Can you picture it? My son apparently hadn't yet figured out how to lay himself down once he began to grow sleepy. I laughed and then compassionately layed him down to rest.

Today, a similar occurence. Judah was crying after I had shut the door for them to take their morning nap. I didn't wait 15 minutes today, but went in this time to find him with his legs caught between the crib railings, facing his brother. Again, I thanked the Lord for His Holy Spirit, who can see all things and instructs me in the way I should go.

Intuition is overrated. But, God's Spirit and His mercy is not!
I am grateful that one day I can share these stories with my children and relay to them how our loving God took great care of them when mommy wasn't so with it!

Gospel Glimpses

2005-05-22T19:50:00.000-07:00

As a Christian parent, there are experiences with one's child(ren) when God reveals an aspect of His truth in ways that are not easily compared with any of life's other relationships. I am privileged to be mom to twin boys! They are 9 1/2 months old and a true gift and joy to my husband and me (on most days).

The first born, Judah, was born with a rare condition called Sturge Weber Syndrome. It is associated with the Port Wine Stain (a red birthmark) that covers close to 40% of his body. As a result, Judah has glaucoma, which he recently had surgery to help remedy. He has potential brain involvement; although we have not yet seen any manifestations of that (Thank you, Lord!), and he receives a lot of medical attention from wonderfully skilled and knowledgeable doctors and nurses at Johns Hopkins University Hospital.

After a recent post-op. visit, I was putting Judah into his carseat to go home. We had been to Hopkins three times that week. I was exhausted but grateful for the care Judah received and for the mercy of God that only one eye had to be worked on. I looked at my child, his eye slightly bruised and swollen the size of a golf ball and thought, "I hope you know we're subjecting you to all of this because we believe this is what is best for you in the long run. I hope you can somehow understand that all these doctor's visits, all the poking and prodding, all the laser treatments, evaluations under anasthesia, various studies we are allowing you to be a part of, trips to and from the hospital that interrupt nap times and make you have to eat and sleep in places much less comfortable and familiar than your own home, that all of this is because we believe we are doing what will lead to a better life experience for you down the road."

The verse in Hebrews 12:2 quickly came to mind,
"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."

There is a joy set before us as we put our son through the rigors of laser treatments every 6 weeks, eye surgeries, anasthesia, evaluations, scans and a multitude of doctor's exams. It is the hope that we are giving our son greater potential to health, to learning, and to what we would consider a "normal" life.

There was a joy set before Jesus as He endured His cross, but it wasn't about Himself. It was about us and it was about His Father. He endured the cross for the joy of knowing us, redeeming us, and spending eternity with us. Above that, He endured the cross for the joy of pleasing and glorifying God, His Father, even to the point of death.

While it is difficult to endure some of the demands of this lot Judah has been given, it is nothing compared to what was required of Jesus. In those moments before Judah is whisked away to be "put under", we can cry out to God and entrust our son to Him, knowing He hears our prayers and commands His angels to watch over our little boy. We will never have to cry out as Christ did on the cross, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" (Mark 15:34)

Thank you, Lord for the gift of a glimpse into the glories of the gospel; I trust there will be many more!